Lebanese Working Mothers

A zone for Lebanese moms to share concerns, experiences, thoughts and do somehting about them!

Happy Empty Women’s Day

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Again bombarded with International Women’s Day greetings, posts, supporters, and emptiness! It’s just a day in 365 days!!! You cannot support women just one day a year!
Feel better for promoting a cause you hardly relate to , by posting a post , or sending a greeting, well I’ve got a newsflash for you: This is not how women are honored, this shouldn’t make you sleep content you have supported the eternal cause.empowered-woman-620x330

Empowering women starts at grass roots, supporting women is when:
• Everyone stops calling my daughter beautiful. This is not how she is identified! She is a stunning 7 year old who is talented, smart, fun, daring, and beautiful! Once people stop flattering just her looks, from day one, so frequent that this identification sticks to her skin, to compliment anything else that is outstanding, then we support women rights.
I tried for years to hear someone call her brother beautiful, to call myself paranoid that no discrimination is happening, all he got is champ or hero!

• Once women are not asked to bite their sorrow to keep their families, to fit in, once they have the right to fight for basic rights of time off and personal decisions. Women basic rights are wrapped in basic camouflage of masculine love and care to override her as a separate entity.
It shouldn’t be guilt gluing the family, or fear, or even love, it should be mutual respect. I don’t want my daughter to relate my image to endurance, patience and suppression. I want her to see resilience, strength, hard will,stamina, love and maturity! My daughter will look up to me and say, mom was a great person, rather than just a great mom or worse a great cook.

• Once assertive women are no longer “Bitches”. Million times we all heard the jokes around assertive women and maidens. Assertiveness is critical leadership skills! Nothing wrong with strong women, yes they scare off weak men, but that is the point! Do I want my daughter to be married to a loser! Then why should I be scared if she repels one!!!

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• The daily practices, chores, and expectations, of both women and men are the same. I had a pitiful colleague ask me about how I left my kids to go on a business trip, the same business trip he was in!

Me smiling:” well aren’t you here?”
Him:” well yes, but you know you your role is different and that you have more chores with the kids and and and…
Me: “well , does your wife do the decision making regarding the kids and the house?
Him:” Of course not, she just implements!”
Me:” Can’t a nanny do that?!”
Him:” Of course not! She has to improvise, to adapt to situations, she has a very important role in raising the kids!
Me with the smile of victory:” See that she need empowerment, stop limiting her role, or step in and provide your on the ground input! You are your kids’ dad too, if you want not to be just considered as a cash machine, start building credibility from an early age!

• When our needs, stop being blocked at the second or third levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, while those of men fully overrun the pyramid. Confidence is a need, the necessity to be unique is a need, and it doesn’t contradict with being a mom, with the need to have a family or with the need for companionship and love. Our daily fights for basic rights, do many times cause tunnel vision and we forget the big picture of our rights as human beings.

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• Even I sometimes am annoyed by feminist groups that stand out with bizarre looks and ethics from another planet! These just help Feminism as much as ISIS is helping Islam, Feminism is not standing out, feminism is blending in as equal, no more no less. I don’t want my daughter to hate men, to be superior, I am raising her exactly like her brother. They both play sports, they both cook with me, they both nag about chores and they are both asked to respect me and their dad.

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My daughter is seven, in a very open school, raised by me, who is constantly challenging her perception, was puzzling around two months ago to find out, we women can be entrepreneurs! She thought its just a man thing. They were introduced to the concept in school, with a guest speaker, we googled it a bit, and it slipped my mind to tell her, we can be anything. I want to reach a day, where I no longer have to convince my daughter and son that, in spite of being labeled as women, we can become anything we want.

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Author: jkhashouf

Personally, I am a wife and a mother of two children, born and working in Beirut Lebanon. Professionally, I graduated with a BS in physics, then studied my Masters in Education to realize this is not my career path. Now I work as an HR Development Consultant, and am a certified social media trainer.

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